Monday, February 9, 2009

Full up

I want to play my guitar right now. I want to write a song and begin playing to my heart's content.
But I can't because I'm full.

I ate a good healthy dinner tonight, and I ate until I felt full. I hate feeling full. I fell uncomfortable with myself and on edge about everything. All I can really think about is how much I want to go get it all out right now. When I'm full, i think it's safe to say my self-confidence drops to a 0-1, no matter what it was before. I can't play my guitar because it freaks me out right now. I'm going to mess it up and hate myself for it. There is this impending sense of doom- Like wherever I go, whatever I do or say, I'm going to cause destruction. I'm going to cause some unknown tragedy, even if it is simply the murder of a song on my guitar. Usually playing it calms me down- but when I'm full it suddenly becomes this unrealistically overwhelming task I dread.
Is this what full is supposed to feel like? I somehow doubt that this is the norm.
So, here is my question for you- (Yes, you!)
How does full feel? Is it uncomfortable? Is it soothing? Is it a relief? Is it a stress?
Or is it perhaps just a meaningless word which happens to coincide with food?

Comment. I would really like to know everyone's thoughts on it. Thanks!